kidtwist's Diaryland Diary



it's close... it's coming... the twilight winter...

i just realised i logged in here after watching my own private idaho. it must have subconsciously made me think of diaryland, i remember writing something about that film here before. river phoenix. he daid. now i'm watching bully. brad renfro. he daiiiid too. it is 6.43 am. i've just read an article in an old newspaper magazine supplement from 1981 that i bought on ebay. it's about life on that crazy estate i used to live on in birkenhead. paul and dava. the ones i done heroin with. i set a saved search for it on ebay because one day when i was upstairs in dava's flat, he showed me the same magazine. he'd had it since 1981. he actually kept it because of that article. there's a picture in it of him and about ten of his mates all sitting on the grass outside a block of flats. just teenagers at the time. kids. most of them are dead, he told me. it was odd that he kept it and still had it. even though he has, for all intents and purposes, done nothing but take any kind of drug he can get his hands on every day of his life since he was 16, he obviously still has some sense of his circumstances. i moved away in 2015. i don't know if they're still there or still alive. him and paul were in their early 50s i think when i was there. i had this idea of doing a follow up to that magazine story, where i go back and find dava and get him to talk about that article, his copy of it if he still has it, and what's happened since then. like, who's alive, who's dead, what happened to them all. what does he think about it. what does he feel about it. has anything changed on the estate. all that shit. and film it all. make it into a little documentary thing. i think that would be great. so hopefully he's still there. people like that tend not to make it to extreme old age. the fact that he was still alive at all when i knew him was itself some kind of miracle. but either way, we're all locked down at the minute. i can't go down there any time soon.

so i've been awake through the night. i woke up at half seven yesterday evening, or night, whatever. i watched river's edge before i watched idaho. that was good. keanu reeves looked so young. i might try to go out to the shops at 8am. i need a few things. we've been having our shopping delivered since the lockdown started. the supermarkets hired extra staff and drivers to deliver as much as possible, to keep people out of the shops. ava's in bed. and that's that.

6:16 am - April 08, 2020


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